Driving in the Emirates.

As a long time resident, and driver, of the Emirates, I have a 29 years PhD in observing the antics of drivers on the road. Being from Pakistan, where we do not drive on the left or the right side of the road but bang in the middle, driving in the UAE was, initially, a challenge. Since then I have graduated to knowing I am on the right side of the road, though not sure if I know which lane I am supposed to be in. My son believes in the next 29 years I will figure that out, but may be too blind by then to be able to know if I am in the drivers seat or the passenger seat.

However, not being a great driver, does not mean I do not observe others, and this gives me great comfort because compared to them I am perfect. Yes perfect.

Here are somethings I noticed.

1. Cars sold to some UAE national drivers have the accelerator on the dashboard which explains why they put one foot on the dashboard.

2. Lebanese women driving need four mirrors on the inside so they can adjust their make up every ten meters.

3. In UAE you see the most number of car accidents involving only a single car.

4. The speed lane is also for cars traveling at 60 Kph.

5. We have to remind the drivers here that using your indicator does not run down your battery.

6. Even the police cars do not know how to use the hazard lights. (You only use them when the car is stationary, in the UAE you use them whenever you want..)

7. Changing lanes is part of your high speed chase practice and must be performed in rush hour.

8. Traffic lights are optional.

9. Driving with you four year child in the front seat with no seat belt is to prepare him for a career in head butting.



Some of the reasons I heard from drivers for having accidents.

1. The pedestrian hit me and decided to go under my car.

2. I was not my fault it was a stationary truck coming the other way.

3. An invisible car came around the corner hit my car and disappeared.

4. A short man in a small car with a big mouth caused the crash.

5. I am color blind. I swear the traffic light was not red.